Diary Marmut

I write this with a heart full of thanks,
For the chaos and light you brought into my days.

I liked you from the moment you stepped into my class —
loud, impossible, unforgettable.

You said you couldn’t speak Indonesian,
Yet never once came to my tutorials.
Still, somehow, we found each other.
Spoke.
Laughed.
Traveled the same path —
but only for a while.

There’s just one thing I could never do:
win your heart.

You don’t know how far I went
just to feel closer to your world.

I booked that German test on a whim —
no money, just hope.
I even lied to my family,
ashamed of how much you mattered.

But fate was kind.
I passed.

I found a way to chase that distant dream,
though your embassy stood like a wall
I couldn’t climb.

Long before you came,
Europe was already calling.
But when I fell for you,
the call turned into a fire.

Now, I’ve made it.
I’m going.
Thank you —
not for loving me,
but for being the spark.

I hope I can finally move on.
You were my reason —
and now I need a new one.

Be well.
See you at the top.

-- NW